Photos and First Few Days in Scotland in Brief

Most pictures from Scotland are up on flickr, fyi, in several sets accessible on the right side, split up by days. And almost all of my photos on there are now mapped, using a "geotagging" feature which I think is just dandy for people like me who... like both maps and photography a lot. So, if anybody cares, you can actually see where things took place by looking at my map on flickr, too!

And now, my first few days in Scotland in brief (by my normal standards, at least), as a break from studying.

Day 0: Spending all day traveling, with a successful arrival. Only hiccups were when the customs man in London yelled at me for being American and for messing up the entry form a little bit, and when I thought the airplane being late in Italy made me miss my connecting flight to Edinburgh because I forgot about the time difference and freaked out for a little while as I ran through the airport. However, all went well in the end. Eleanor was nice and picked me up at the airport, and for dinner I had a wonderfully home-tasting meal of a BLT and a milkshake with Eleanor and her Irish flatmate Gareth, before chilling out with the amusing movie "American Splendor."

Day 1: Food shopping! Oh man, I am so jealous of the amount of diversity in Scottish markets - lots of variety of food types, for considerably less money that it is here, even with the pound-euro-dollar differences. One of many things that would occur over the week to make me feel more at home. Then came the German Christmas Market near the Prince's Street Gardens, where they have lots of Christmas-season goings-on. Apparently in Europe, the Germans are the only ones who really know how to do a Christmas Market, or so they say, so a whole bunch of Germans come to Edinburgh with their stalls and food and jewelry and neat little things and set up for a month and a half! Got some decent german food and some traditional mulled wine, talked for a long time, and spent a while looking at the pretty jewelry. Yay.

Then came going to a Buddhism class with Eleanor and seeing the really-old-manuscripts section of the New College (religion/philosophy/etc.) library; wandering around the city; visiting a small vintage store called the Rusty Zip, playing dress-up back at the flat with Eleanor's lots of fun/cute clothes (aka being girly), meeting Eleanor's flatmates and her friends Zoe and Mark; getting a chance to webcam for a little with my brother Alex; making dinner and hanging out talking for a long time. We intended to go dancing at Caberet Voltaire... and had too much fun talking until late. Fortunately or unfortunately, this became a trend for the week, and I was regularly too tired to go out past midnight. Not an easy schedule for me, probably to my brother's disappointment (he wanted me to see Cab Volt while there). O well. At least hanging out with new, lively, friendly and interesting people was a relief from my quiet life here in Italy.

Day 2: Heading up to St. Andrews to see Zoe, a friend and suitemate of mine from Arabic School, who is a Vermonter but goes to undergrad at St. Andrews all year round. It's a cute, little, medieval fishing/pilgrimage town, with lots of fantastic ruins just above the shore of the North Sea. There are only three main streets (whose shops oddly enough reminded me of Denville, near home in NJ, or of Middlebury), plus the university, the fishing neighborhoods and the ruins of the medieval cathedral, chapel, castle and some other things, which have whole walls missing and then a single wall or tower just rising up from the earth. They were as though ghost buildings, beautiful skeletons. A storm was brewing up and it rained on and off all afternoon, which unfortunately precluded some intended destinations, but the rain, wind and clouds just made the whole place more surreal and the ruins on the crashing sea the more wild and intriguing. So awesome, in several senses of the word. It was also great to see Zoe and get to catch up for the whole afternoon, talking over tea and Indian food and as we wandered through the very-much-ruins of the epic cathedral. I'm really glad I got to see her while in Scotland, even if it was just for one day. Feeling welcomed by friends was a constant and very key highlight to the trip, and was very comforting.

Day 3: A very full day. Started out with a trip to the Farmer's Market, which was down below the Grassmarket and near the foot of the cliff on which the Castle sits. Much of the food was quite tempting-looking, but we went for some porridge for breakfast. Wow was it good. Raspberries and oats and cream and I don't remember what all, but a good way to start the day. Next was Armstrongs, this enoooormous vintage store in the Grassmarket. Old clothes and accessories from the 1800s through to the 70s, although mainly, from what it appeared, from the early 20th century. More fragile or really unusual and not for sale items were hanging from the ceiling, so the store feels a whirlwind den of weird, colorful old things. SO MUCH COOL STUFF. We had fun playing dress up and digging up cool things from the racks for quite some time. This place would be a LARPers dream-store, I expect. I need to get the pictures of this morning from Eleanor at some point, since my camera was out of batteries, but that's the only point that I don't have, I think.

Afterwards, Eleanor had to study for an exam she had on the coming Monday, so I went off on my own to climb Arthur's Seat, the massive volcanic rock and heath-covered mound rising up in the middle of the city, on the side near the Firth of Forth (the bay-ish stretch of the North Sea reaching into the island near Edinburgh). There are several paths of various difficulties that wind back and forth up the rocky hill, and which lead to the grassy hillocks of the plateau at the top. The sun was starting to go down as I went up (not long after 3 pm...), which meant that I got some fantastic views of Edinburgh and this gorgeous sunset from the rocky volcanic highest point, where I hung out for a while with some other hikers and ravens braving the wind for the sake of the sunset.

The downside of seeing the sunset from the top, that I didn't think of until too late, was having to make my way down (the much smoother backside through a valley and past a ruined chapel!) in the near-dark, but luckily there were other people around and no problems. But I'm really glad I got to make it back up there (my dad, brother Alex and I climbed it last spring, too). I've discovered this fall something of a love for climbing iconic tall points in cities - it's exhilirating and brings great views! I think I want to hike more often once back in the States again, although nothing too intense for little me. I do go to school in Vermont, after all; why not take better advantage of the landscape?

But the busy day wasn't over yet! Eleanor, her friend Natasha (who I'd met for a while sometime earlier in the trip) and I went ice skating in the Prince's Street Gardens Christmas ice rink. They hadn't cleaned up the skater-shavings for several hours, so there was an odd layer of "snow" over the whole rink, and it was kind of crowded, but besides that it was quite fun! Last winter, I tried ice skating for the first time, and am glad that I did so, because I'm kind of awkward still but can do it without falling at all and definitely enjoy myself. We met up with Leah and Mary Katherine briefly afterwards, but they had had a long day of walking (with seeing an exciting penguin march at the zoo!) and were ready for an early night, and so I ended up back at Eleanor's flat to watch the strange but very funny movie "Wet, Hot American Summer" with her and Natasha, at the recommendation of the movie-store guy. (We hadn't intended to watch two "typical American (fill-in-the-blank) experience" movies, but ended up doing so somehow, I just realized). A relaxing way to end the day.

Days 4, 5 and 6: Coming Soon.

Immediate plans:

Well, I should get back to trying to be productive soon. This is going to be a very very busy week (after the last month of being quite busy but feeling unproductive and a lack of posting, sorry about that!), but I will do my best at writing about the other few days in Scotland and how life has been in general. My family (parents and Alex) are coming next Monday to Italy for over a week for Christmas, and I am sooooo looking forward to it.

I had been thinking of going to Rome next weekend for a short visit, since I haven't made it there at all yet, but cousin Gina has proposed, if things work out for her, staying with her and going for a short ski trip - over the border into Austria! Which would also be exciting. So, either way, once I make it through this busy week (and hopefully get some important things worked on), I will get to have a much-looked-forward-to vacation for a bit of time before the crazy exam month of January. That last bit I'm not eager about, as I don't feel at all prepared. I've learned a ton this term about emotionally taking care of and living by myself in a new environment, and some more Italian, of course, but very little academically, less than I need to know for exams (which is partly my fault, partly my language skills, partly the confusing set up here and how difficult it is to get books). I know that learning to take care of myself and learning about myself is the more important thing by far and what I care about more, but I'd like to do ok on exams, as the grades do actually count for Middlebury... I'll just have to keep plugging along with this frustrating university. Almost there! Almost there! Just keep swimming...

This has been a good experience over all, this fall, but I will be quite glad to get home. And in the meantime, I will be sooo happy to see my family next week. Ok. Back to work.

We're back in Ferrara. The trip over this last week was great; the way back here last night was super long and kind of sketchy, but it all worked out in the end. There will be more later when I have the time and energy. Just wanted to make it known that all is ok.

Arthur's Seat at sunset= awesome. So do friends. And tea. And backrubs. And Christmas trees. And stone buildings. And quirky massive vintage stores. And good (non-Italian!) food. And friends. And dancing. And ice skating. And English (especially with awesome English/Scottish/Irish accents). And conversations. And friends. And Scotland, in general.

In truth, I don't want to leave tomorrow.

Second Day Back in Scotland

I am tired and don't have the energy for a real post right now, so instead I will let you all know that I made it safely to Scotland, having been staying with Eleanor, and been having a good time. I will leave you with three good things from today:

1) Eleanor is a fantastic human being, and I can feel both chill and have much fun when hanging out with her and her friends.
2) Gorgeous Scottish landscapes and architecture. Man, this place feels so comforting to me, even if I can't quite say why. I'm glad to be here.
3) Going up to St. Andrews to see Zoe; ruuuuuuuiiiins on the shore of the North Sea, and the hints of a wicked wild storm brewing up from the ocean as we walked through said medieval ruins, with the waves crashing beautifully in the growing dark and wind - as I, most importantly, got to catch up with a friend.

My photos in a news article?

So, I was just asked by an internet news website (admittedly, one I've never heard of before) for permission to use some of my photos of the Ferrara Christmas Market. It's not the New York Times or anything big, and I wouldn't say they are the best photos I've taken here, but I have to say it makes me feel cool that someone asked to use my photos in their article! It's on green holiday eating and using local produce, which is probably why the Ferrara market is relevant.

Update on Siena

Last Saturday, we went to Siena for the day, we being most of us Middkids in Ferrara, a handful of those in Florence, and the graduate students in Midd’s School in Italy. The trip was organized and sponsered by Middlebury, which on one hand is nice because it means being reimbursed and going somewhere I might not have otherwise. (It was a neat city, which I’ll get to in a minute. I need to gripe a little first…)

Warning: Complaining ahead.
On the other hand, the trip was actually a field trip for the grad students’ art history class, onto which we were just tagged without any consideration for the difficulty of getting there from Ferrara on their schedule (leaving very early and getting back very late), or for our level of interest in the professor who was giving the tour. I’m an art history major, as most of you already know, but I was very bored with the tour guide, regardless of it being “related” to my major. The trip had been advertised to us as a tour around the whole city, focusing on the history and a wide variety of places around said city. That would have probably been really cool, since Siena seemed like a pretty place with quite a lot of history.

False advertising it was – we spent the day in the Duomo (cathedral) and the Pinacoteca (national museum), being told either waaay too much detail to be interesting to most of us or being told what was quality and what wasn’t, instead of “letting” us have our own thoughts. Almost no history or context, mainly just judgements and repeated phrases, barely an intelligent observation – he kept telling us, this is notable, this is realistic and is therefore beautiful, this is abstract and therefore not worth looking at, this has good “light play”, this is good quality, this is medieval and therefore bad quality – NOT A WAY TO LEAD A TOUR. I’m not an expert in tour giving by any means and have only given a few museum tours (although I volunteered with a program at the college museum last year whose purpose is education and tours in museums, so I’ve thought about the process quite a bit). But I do think I have enough of a brain and teaching/tour-giving experience to appreciate when a guide engages the listeners (there are a number of ways to do so, of course) and be disappointed when they don’t. I was generally annoyed at the guide’s teaching methods and kept wandering away to look at things I prefered before being ushered into the next room to spend another 10 minutes with him babbling at us about a single image and saying nothing. I think he noticed my disdain, but whatever- he didn’t deserve my time and attention. Grrr.

In other words, it kept feeling like the Midd School in Italy (which is run by Italians, of course) was being cheap and lazy instead of giving us our own trip fitted to our level, interests and locations, and I don’t think they’re doing any other trips for us, unlike the several, more organized-sounding trips I’ve heard about from Middkids in other countries abroad. *cue minor jealousy* O well, that’s just the way it is!

More positive snapshots of Siena and Thoughts on Landscape
We got a little bit of time over lunch to do our own thing, luckily, and Leah and I went wandering around the city. (I’ve decided that wandering and exploring is one of my favorite hobbies, especially with so much new to see while here!) The city sits on a handful of tightly packed hills amidst the rolling Tuscan landscape. This gives it the feeling of being stacked, layered, pieced together like a 3d puzzle, or at least it does when you chance upon a view down a valley-side street or over the roofs. I love the visual and physical character of towns like that (I remember Edinburgh had a few cool views like that, since it is also on a series of hills, but because it’s more built up, I don’t think they were quite as clear.) This was definitely my favorite part of the city.

The open flats of the Pianura Padana floodplain I’m in here in Ferrara have mainly stopped feeling disconcerting; I’ve always loved wide horizons and the chance to see the sky, although because when I’m out on the pianura I’m generally in a train or I’m in a city with the horizon blocked by buildings, I haven’t had a chance to take much advantage of that for cloud watching, and have seen maybe 10 stars total since coming to Italy, none of which I saw from Ferrara (sadness!) However, traveling to regions of hills, forests, mountains, any variety in the landscape is inexpressibly comforting to me, whether it be in Tuscany or Friuli-Venezia-Giulia or the Veneto. I most miss the hills and forests (and mountains!) of Vermont and North Jersey, I miss our lake in my hometown, I miss the shores and ocean and salty smells of South Jersey, and I never would have thought I’d say this as it’s weird and surprising, but I kind of miss highways, or at least being in a car on long roads that you know are well maintained and can take you where you want to go. That last one I realized when I went to visit Will in Mainz and had to spend time on buses between cities. The lack of hills and forests has been weirding me out for the last 2 and a half months, frankly, even if I’m much more used to it by now. In short, I might have trouble living comfortably in most states of the US. It’s amazing how much landscape can get imbedded in your sense of a comforting world, of what so deeply feels right or unsettling.

Back to Siena: It seems that the architecture of every town I’ve been to has its own details differentiating it from the others (pictures are better for that than words, so I leave you to my flickr), along with different personalities that I pick up on (whether accurately or not I will never know) from the stores, the amount and friendliness of people interacting in the streets or just hanging out or completely ignoring everyone and everything, the level of bustle of the town. It’s very fun to observe these differences everywhere I go, although I haven’t spent enough time in any city but Ferrara to get much conclusion out of it. There were a lot of people just hanging out in the larger piazzas in Siena, even during the “pausa” – the Italian version of the well-known Spanish siesta, where shops shut down and everyone goes to eat and sleep for a few hours in the middle of the afternoon. It was certainly quieter than Florence and busier than Ferrara, though that’s not very hard to do on either account. A lot of ceramic tchotchke shops and stores selling wines, breads, meats, and of course gelato, etc. Winding streets and palm trees. Striped (zebrato – yes, like a zebra!) buildings. Many statues of baby Romulus and Remus with their mother wolf, apparently a mascot of not just Rome but Siena and several other nearby cities. Medieval icons, a Renaissance master named Duccio and Baroque extravagant interiors. Hills. Chianti Classico wine. Siena. Cool town, not the best day trip, but cool town. I think I’m glad I went.

And because I like lists and this blog has a lot to do with traveling anyway:
Places I’ve been up till now: Ferrara, Comacchio, Venezia, Firenze, Sacile, Aviano, the Dolomite foothills, Gargazo (the last 4 are in my cousin Gina’s area), Siena and Padova in Italy, and Mainz in Germany.

Places to visit in mainland Italy: Ravenna, Bologna, Rome, maybe Codigoro and Trieste/Duino (where Remy is at the UWC), skiing - hopefully in the Alps - with my family.

Ideas for places to visit in Sicily: Palermo, Siracusa, Leonforte, Mt. Etna.

Elsewhere in Europe: Scotland (in less than two weeks!), and maybe a few other places if I have time and money, but going to Sicily is a higher priority at the moment, so any other trips are on the backburner of merely brainstorming and might end up staying there. I’ve been recommended Vienna, Prague, Switzerland, among a few other places. But we’ll see. I’m just glad that traveling from Ferrara is pretty easy and economical in general! Also, I don’t know how we’ll be doing this, but Hannah R. and I will find some way to meet up during January, whether in Ireland or in Italy or elsewhere, I don’t know, but as I don’t want to go a full year without my dear friend Hannah, I’ll be eager to see her again.

I’ve begun planning my trip to Sicily, which has made me super excited. I’m thinking of going during the first week of January, visit the chapel on which I’m thinking of basing my senior thesis, visit our relatives in Leonforte, see the ruins in Siracusa and ancient amphitheater and climb Mt. Etna (volcano!) at the very least. I don’t know if I’ll have time/money to make it anywhere else while down there, but I could be satisfied with this beginning. I need to find safe but economical places to stay, and have found some useful-looking leads on convents that rent out rooms, which would be both a distinctly interesting Italian experience and a safe way to avoid dangerous hotels or way-too-expensive resorts.

I really like traveling and being someplace new. I like learning about this culture with which I’ve grown up but not really, as my Italian great-grandparents didn’t speak Italian to my grandmother and wanted to be as American as possible, but left behind for our family a pride in being Italian-American that my experiences here have challenged and highlighted in unexpectable ways. I’m sure I’m missing out on a lot of aspects of what it could be like to live in Italy, even what it could be like living with students here in Ferrara – but there’s only so much I can do in 5 months, and I do feel like I’m getting a lot out of my time here and learning a lot about myself. And even if there are problems with Italy and many frustrations along the way, all in all life is good.
Now, time to go to my last class period of Emilia Romagna art history! Comments about Padova and general life will be written up sometime later. Have a good afternoon all!

Yesterday I went to Padova with Rachel, which was a fun trip. I'm currently writing up about Siena and Padova, but here are some pictures in the meantime. Also, pictures from Padova are up on flickr.

Basilica di San Antonio - Nov. 20

And now, some more daily photos from around Ferrara:

Worn out lion doorknocker. Nov. 19

Old men hanging out in the piazza for their evening chat. Nov. 18

Large floor and stalls being set up in the piazza for the "Festa del regalo" or Festival of Gifts. I assume this means Christmasy things filling the piazza in short order, given the merchandise I've already seen working it's way into these stalls. Nov. 17

Photos of Siena

Photos are up (and should all finally be organized) on flickr of Siena, Germany, and November so far in Ferrara. And for those of you without the time to go look at my flickr: (this one is short, I swear!)

Me!

Bells on an old chapel in Siena


View across a valley of the hills of Siena


Cathedral (or at least a huge church) in Siena with Italian cyprus

View of the terraced streets and roofs of Siena from a side street, someone's laundry hanging out the window

Spring Schedule

Classes: "Mediterranean History 400-1600"; "Introduction to Asian Religions"; "The Power of the Image in the Middle Ages"; "Islam in Practice: Anthropology of Muslim Cultures" (plus sitting in on Japanese 202 as a review, or at least the drill section).

Other obligations: Museum Internship with Emmie Donadio (head curator of the Middlebury Museum of Art) with possible research component; co-chairing pledge for Xenia.

Monday, Wednesday:
8:00-8:50: Mediterranean History; 10:10-11:00: Japanese Drill; 2:50-4:05: Medieval Art

Tuesday, Thursday: 9:30-10:45: Asian Religions; 3:00-4:15: Anthropology

Friday:
8:00-8:50: Mediterranean History Discussion; 9:05-9:55: Asian Religions Discussion; 10:10-11:00: Japanese Drill

Work: either before and after lunch, or before and after the ~3-4:15 slot of my classes, if that works for Emmie. I need to talk to her and figure out her schedule and what works best for both of us. Usually, the museum intern (there are several internships at the museum, this is just the name for the post with Emmie) does a research project and presentation on a piece in the museum's collection during the spring. A while ago, I saw a print up there that I think Middlebury owns that was made by a modern woman artist from Iran who uses black and white (often controversial and religiously political) photographs overlayed with red or black Arabic calligraphy, which was really interesting. The museum also has several pieces of kinetic sculpture which make me very happy. So, I'm considering doing one of those options for the research project if Emmie decides it'll happen this spring.

The anthropology class is a 300, so I'm a little worried about the amount of work and my lack of background in anthro, although the prof says I should be ok with the bit of background I have on Islam. It looks neat, but I'll have to see what I think when I get there, and possibly change it out with one of a few other classes I'm considering, like Geopolitics of Europe, Accelerated German, Creative Writing/Poetry of some kind, or Romance Linguistics. Having a job, doing pledge, and trying to remember Japanese and Arabic after being in Italy makes me hesitant to take too intense of a class schedule, since I know I enjoy my classes much more when I don't have to get really stressed about them, obviously. I expect that coming from the over-flexible Italian system back into Middlebury will be a definite shock, too, but that will probably occur no matter what classes I take. It's just a matter of how much it will be so. It should be a pretty busy spring, but hopefully enjoyable, too. I have to say I'm amused by the fact that I'm registered for spring classes already but not the ones I'm currently taking here...

Deutschland!

PS: Pictures in the previous post, video of the protest two posts ago, and pictures of the protest and some taken in november so far of around here are up on flickr, with the Germany pictures just started. Please forgive typos and grammatical errors in this post, as I don't have the energy to check it over now.


So, I should probably write about the trip to Germany before it gets too far away in my mind. Or more like before I go to Siena on Saturday and have more to talk about. Prelude: 3 friends from college, one studying in Edinburgh, Scotland (Mary Katherine, or MK), one in Mainz, Germany (Will), and one in Ferrara, Italy (me, of course) all meet up in Mainz for a long weekend of wandering, site seeing, movie-watching, american-speaking, and just plain fun with familiar souls.

On the Road Again
As I mentioned before, there were some lovely problems going both to and from Germany with trains *gasp!* leaving early and the ticketers taking their normal forever (they chat with each other and wander off randomly in the middle of selling tickets without warning to those who are, you know, hoping to catch a train), schedules changing unexpectedly, almost losing my backpack (that one was my fault), and best of all, having all the trains and buses going on strike after being redirected to almost the edge of Slovenia and spending several hours trying to find a way to not spend tons of money or stay the night in the airport. I love Italian public transport. (At least it goes most everywhere, is relatively cheap and often on time, despite the reputation). I am so grateful that cousin Gina lived a reasonable distance from where I was and Ferrara, and that she was generous enough to let me stay the night, once I found a way to get closer to her. Thank you Gina! I’m glad that I got to see her again, too, as Gina truly is a caring, bubbly person, and fun to talk with. But really, it didn’t turn out to be anything very trying. Probably the only thing that seriously freaked me out was almost losing my backpack. I’ve mostly gotten used to not being able to trust public transport to work out the way I expect, and to just chilling when things go wrong. But as you might have noticed from how often I’ve mentioned it, it’s still kind of a regular preoccupation of sorts… Meh.

Sites of Mainz
Besides that the weekend went quite well! Mary Katherine had already gotten to Mainz earlier on Thursday and stayed until Sunday, while I stayed until Monday. Friday involved a long shopping expedition amidst the many colors, tempting tastes, and unknown vegetables of the Mainz farmer’s market in one of the squares in the downtown (old city?) part of town. Most of Mainz was literally flattened in WWII, and in the great rebuilding process following the war, the Germans tried to make the city look as it did previously, with the old architecture, down to some ruined turrets of the cathedral and the fancier house facades, imitated in an apparently faithful manner. It was odd, because in the overall architectural style for the relevant areas, the buildings had the characteristics of old German construction – but still felt relatively new. It might have just been in comparison to the even older-looking buildings I’ve primarily seen in Italy, the different style, or the fact that everything there is so darn clean, I don’t know. But I was still impressed with the intentionality with which they had rebuilt Mainz. It has pretty places, a lot more trees and diversity in the building styles than Ferrara, and definitely … looks German.

Over Friday evening and the next few days, there was a lot of (semi-planned) wandering around the city, and visiting churches: the cathedral (St. Martin’s?) (which has sections as diverse as romanesque, gothic and baroque and has this fantastic layer-cake-like exterior made of sandstone), St. Augustine’s (?) (which was super baroque and therefore kind of gaudy, and is now used as a training church for new priests), and coolest of all, St. Stephan’s, all of whose stained glass windows were designed by Marc Chagall (whose work is usually very dreamlike, with lots of bright colors, and an odd mix between wistfully sad and surreally happy). It was awesome. The windows were almost all this bright blue, with perhaps no artificial lights inside, leaving the interior this surreal, underwater color. It was very peaceful and calmly inspiring. I wish I could have spent more time there, maybe do some meditation or prayer if I’d been there by myself, but there was a large German group “for meditation on the windows” starting up and we felt we should move on. Cool place though.

We also visited the old citadel, now filled with administrative offices, but still with the ramparts intact and explorable, complete with guard towers on the corners and lots of moss. Nearby, we found a playground crowned by a large windmill – up which you can climb and get to a long squiggly slide with too much friction but good niches for sitting and taking reflecting photos of others in the slide. There were also swings, a seesaw and a climbing tower looking out over the city. No, we totally aren’t kids still at heart. We’re college juniors, we swear… although that almost never means maturity, so it doesn’t actually preclude acting like little kids and playing with big toys. :)

Food and Reflections on the Protest
Then we found this little very German restaurant that the director had recommended to Will for lunch near St. Augustine’s (?). And the food was good! Will had a sausage that tasted a lot like kielbasa I though, I had some goulash (it was surprisingly like chili), and MK had this yummy cheese/yogurt spread. The customers mainly shared tables with multiple groups, the lighting was dim, people actually talked to strangers (which Will says is a phenomenom basically only found in restaurants), there were many, many sausages around the room, the sparkling apple juice was great, (we had already tried another local specialty the day before, the young sparkling apple wine… which was interesting), and the décor had a distinctly German feel that I can’t remember in enough detail to pin down. For the other meals we cooked simple but good food together in Will’s dorm, but it was nice to actually get some typically German food while there.

Other highlights of the trip included getting to see the industrial-park-looking University of Mainz where Will spends much of his time, the Gutenberg Museum (lots of old printing presses, wooh! And actual Gutenberg Bibles in a vault with walls at least a foot thick.), the River Rhein, watching the movie Iron Man (ooo, technology envy…), and having a Firefly watching marathon, as I had never seen the whole series before (joy).

Oh yeah, and coming back to the great big student protest the other day, which I already discussed somewhat. The most striking things about the protest were 1) how many students were not only participating, but getting really into the demonstration, and 2) the amusement, curiosity and, most of all, pride on the looks of the adults watching as they hung out of windows and stopped work to emerge from their shops and cheer the students on. This place normally feels so sleepy and rudely apathetic that it was rather a shock to feel that much enthusiasm in the air again; I am reassured by all those proud faces, by the dancing in the streets, by the voices raised in chant and song. That state of action is not my normal phase of being or experience – I have never even seen a demonstration like that in my life. But the energy felt closer to home, felt like Ferrara has life in it yet. This place is confusing in that way: the atmosphere feels oppresive after a while, as though the early winter fog and the emptiness of the floodplains are reitterative reflections with the culture of the town and region; but every now and then, something breaks out that reminds me of the living energy that exists somewhere in the quiet mist of the Ferraresi, like how happy people were after the American election or this massive protest. It’s easy to forget, though, but there are many things in life that are easy to forget that don’t simply disappear because they are hidden or temporarily out of mind. I wonder if one could say the same about the Ferraresi’s need to care and ability to get riled up.

Friends and Random Observations
Back to Germany. Of course, the best part of the vacation was hanging out with Will and MK. I am so grateful that Leah is also in Ferrara and that we get to hang out together here, don’t get me wrong, but it was great to see those two again. I’ve been feeling, albeit inexplicably very tired/having sleeping problems, much more emotionally at ease this week. It might be having my final paper and oral for literature done with, it might be that the election is over and I was happy with most of the results, it might be that I really am half way to going home now. But I’m pretty darn sure that getting to see good friends (in English!) who are going through some similar study-abroad experiences, not having to think about homework, and just getting to be somewhere new with people I care about all added up to a more relaxed Emmons. Excellent weekend, all in all, I must say.

Oh yeah, and I changed my name on here back to Emmons, although I have stopped asking the Italians to call me Emmons, as it just doesn’t seem to work. It felt strangely relieving to be “Emmons” for the weekend instead of just Elisabeth, as I am here. “Elisabeth” is a part of me, and I wouldn’t ever get rid of my first name, but I don’t feel quite myself when I’m called Elisabeth all the time. There are times when it feels that just Emmons doesn’t fit me either, but it does so way better and more often than any other name I’ve had or even heard of. I am Elisabeth Emmons Hahn, and proud to have pieces of the names of both my mother and my father. I’ve never managed to quite explain or even figure out what it is about the way names fit or don’t and how my name is such a part of my identity. And I’ve certainly thought about it a number of times, having had several score nicknames in my life (quite literally: in 8th grade, I remember, I counted up all the nicknames I could think of that I’d had, and it was over 50 at the time. I wish I still had that list) perhaps beginning somewhere around “Busy Lizzy” and with the most recent addition being “Mushu” (like the dragon in Mulan, thanks to my suitemate Zoe in Arabic School). Even as a little kid, I obviously struggled with finding a name that fit me, bouncing from Lizzy, once it stopped matching me as well, to Libby, Elisa, and several others before settling on E. Emmons/ just Emmons… And I miss feeling quite like myself here, with a number of little things feeling askew in abstract ways, one of which being my name. One more thing that separates me from home here.

I don’t really know where this is going. I was strangely energetic and unable to fall asleep at a normal hour, hence why I am finishing this up now, but as I’m started to finally get sleepy, I think I’ve also gotten more rambly, like usual. Aaaand, I will have to get up early tomorrow, as we in Ferrara have to catch an unfortunately early train to go to Florence to meet up with the others before heading down to Siena for a daytrip sponsored by Middlebury. The trip should be pretty cool, the getting up early and coming back to Ferrara late, not so much. But I really should go to sleep now, so I bid you all good night, and for those of you on Xenia Final Pledge tonight, I hope it went wonderfully and look forward to hearing about it.

Can has photos? (ok, I know this is what flickr should be for, but I got behind on my regular photo updates, so here's a big one...)

So... it isn't exactly just one per day here... The ones from the sunset to the airport are from Germany, the ones after in Ferrara, and the ones before from the protest. I forgot to take pictures the last few days, I must admit. But! Lots o' photos, so it's ok! PS: video of the protest in my previous post.

Police and protesters with red arm bands.

Listening to a speaker during the sit-in and chanting with him.

View of the protest down Corso Giovecca from my room.

Sunset from the plane.

Blossoming!

Will and Me in Mainz.

Some of the Marc Chagall windows in St. Stephan's. The entire church was blue like this; it felt like we were underwater. Beautiful place.

MK!

Will in the windmill slide near the citadel.

Windmill slide near the Citadel.

The loaves and the fishes, door to St. Stephen's.

Pretty melon in the farmer's market!

I have an airport named after me! Well, kind of.

Loving Alien? (there is " "fill-in-the-blank" Alien" grafitti all over this part of town, particularly near the university builidings. I'm kind of collecting them.) (Back in Ferrara) - 6 Nov.

I think you can guess what these are. :) Also, note how the bottom newspaper was a picture of the Earth from the moon, with the title "New World". High expectations, eh? The Italians were sooo happy.

The cross on the wall of one of my classrooms - 4 Nov.

Branch of the Po that goes through Ferrara - 3 Nov.

Arches and covered walkway somewhere on the south side of the city (note all the bikes and the repetition of structures...) - 2 Nov.

Close up of the colorful candy stall (see below)- 1 Nov.

Evening candy and nut stall in the Piazza - 1 Nov.

"A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having." - V

(Unfortunately it lost quality in the upload, and was at a distance to begin with. But hey! Dancing in the streets! Massive protest! Maybe this place isn't totally asleep after all! Also, I've figured out the song - "I cento passi" Modena City Ramblers, related to a movie about Sicily and the Mafia. It's certainly catchy once you hear the real thing. They also do a good version of the WWII partigiano rebel song "Bella Ciao". Which has in turn led me to playing Italian folk radio as I work. Fun stuff. ^_^ )

Protest Photos

Photos from the protest are now up on flickr - you can access it by clicking the slideshow on my sidebar. I'm wrestling with the internet to let me put up a video of one of the outbursts of singing and dancing in the protest- but I'm tired of fighting with it, so hopefully tomorrow I can get it to work. My bandwith doesn't seem very cooperative, but at least the photos worked.

And since the loud machinery that has been running in the street outside my house has finally quieted down somewhat, maybe I can go to sleep now. That'd be nice, since it's quarter after 5... At least I ran into my dad and Heidi on chat for a while - something good finally came out of not being able to sleep! And at least I don't have class tomorrow. I once heard the line "Sleep is for the weak!" but I think I rather disagree.

Returning from Germany

Oh, adventures adventures. My long weekend in Germany went quite well, and it was awesome to see Will and MK again. But I will write about that later. First. I got back to Ferrara today around noon, over half a day later than I had expected but with no serious mishaps. There easily could have been some real problems, but it all worked out somehow. There was, of course, a strike of all trains and buses yesterday of which I had been previously unaware, so on top of almost losing my backpack and having the airplane be rerouted by quite some distance due to superfog, I almost got stranded near Slovenia for the night. That was fun, I can tell you. There were a number of moments, both going to Germany and with this mess coming back to Italy where I just had to sigh, shake the head, and figure out what to do next while seeing lots of other people around freaking out (although I admittedly had a few brief moments of freakout, too). However, for me at least, a series of fortunate events occured, and I was able to meet up with my cousin Gina, who kindly let me stay at her place again! I'm grateful to have someone in this general area whom I'm comfortable calling for help, as well as the fact that it was good to see her again. And we're planning on going skiing together, too, about which I'm pretty darn excited! Luckily, the strike stopped today, so I was able to catch a ride back to Ferrara in time for class.

But the adventure of returning from Germany didn't stop there! Upon returning to Ferrara, I found that half the main road in town was stopped still from traffic - because the other half of the entire length of the road (Giovecca) was full of a student protest! They were striking classes, had a sit-in in front of some of the main university buildings, had speeches in the piazza near the cathedral, and made enough noise that probably at least a quarter of the inner city could have heard them clearly at any one time. Probably several thousand students, plus some teachers and parents, too, all cheering, singing, holding posters, some dancing, many dressed up, and followed on the rims by grumpy looking squads of police and carabinieri. It was a strange kind of ordered chaos, with the definition of "order" dependent on what stretch of the crowd you were in and what happened to be the current musical accompaniment. Perhaps needless to say, I couldn't even have gotten near my classroom with all the chaos (I was supposed to have a linguistics class that was extended to this week from being cancelled by the last student protest...), but at least I think they usually cancel class during protests, so I'm hoping it isn't a problem. Real Italian experience, all these strikes in the last few days, apparently.

Really, I've never seen anything like it. I think there were a number of things they were protesting, but the main ones seemed to be something about research, the quality of the education, and the cost of the university, which made me want to laugh out loud. Supposedly, any students with demonstrated financial need already don't pay anything, and those who can afford it pay little more than a thousand euros a year (maybe 1500 at the most). I think they need some perspective on the potential cost of a good education. However, it was certainly interesting to see that many people all together for something and being really excited about it, as I've never seen a serious protest, strike or demonstration of any kind before. I snaked through the crowds for a while to get some photos and to see what was going on, so I'll put those up on flickr sometime soon. I also, of course, took a bunch of pictures of our time in Germany, and will get around to those, and writing an entry actually about the weekend.

That will have to be delayed for a bit though, as I have the final battle for Hogwarts, sleep and an 8:30-12:00 in the morning class awaiting me currently. And then LOTs of housework, emails that need returning, a post on Germany to write, laundry, finding an English copy of the Bible if possible (oh yeah, my hw for my medieval art class for the next lesson is to read the gospels and compare them, and I don't think I will have the time to do so in Italian... this will be interesting), make final decisions for class registration on Thursday, and sleep somewhere along the way tomorrow. Lots to do, lots to do.

But on the whole, I am feeling well and am both re-energized and calmed by my vacation in Mainz, for which I'm thankful. And in a few days I will be half way through until I get to go home for February break. I can do this! I think. Ok, now that I've alerted the necessaries to my safe, however rocky, return to Ferrara, I think I am off to sleep.

Also, err, happy or, perhaps more appropriately, remembrancefull, Armistice/ Veteran's day !

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!

FIVE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND SO SO SO RELIEVED.

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Edit: 5:30am: Mostly respectful concession speech from John McCain, appropriately done, given his ideals and politics and sense of honor. I do, however, really wish that he and the media would stop emphasizing the color of Obama's skin so much - yes, it's quite important for history, but the fact that he was elected not because of or inspite of his skin color but rather aside from it, that he was elected for his logic, skills, beliefs, policy ideas and hope, among other things, is a truly respectable thing. Media, don't degrade what happened by only focusing on his skin color, please.

6:30am: As for President-Elect Barack Obama... I am so very proud to be an American. And I am thankful. He's just a man, not a miracle-worker like many make him out to be, and it will be a disaster into which he is stepping, but I think he will do the better job. Let us see. At this moment, I feel like Mary Martin in Peter Pan, singing "I've Gotta Crow". I don't know how much the sleeping Italians would appreciate me doing so, though. I'll just continue to be happy inside.

BBC's live posting commentary news and live eTV on the election:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7700298.stm

Since I don't have access to a TV that can currently give me either the BBC or any US news channel (it's down at the moment), I'm finding the above BBC site to be a good way to get regular updates on goings on around the US as the evening moves on. Which is good, because it allows me to be informed, and bad because it gives me a distraction. Italian TV news channels aren't telling me much of anything I don't already know, so the internet will have to do. Middblog is also doing their own liveblogging on the election/reactions at Middlebury:

http://midd-blog.com/2008/11/03/middblog-election-day-liveblog/


I think I'm going to be up late tonight.

Unable to do anything more, she just yells across the ocean at America:

PLEASE. GO. VOTE.

(very much preferably for Obama, but it's your choice.)

Don't be thoughtless or apathetic! GO. You shouldn't complain about the economy or the country or the government later on unless you participate now...


(I would be surprised if those you who regularly read this need a reminder, but this is me just kind of sending willpower at America in general, not at anyone in particular. Sorry if it's annoying.)

This is going to be interesting. And a terrible time for me to have to work on a paper and have double class time (overlap of first and second half term classes, for some weird Italian reason of oversight), since I'll just want to watch the news. Recently, I've had most Italians in the street who actually ask me where I'm from start giving me lectures about how they want Obama to win and don't like McCain/Palin. They don't know very much about it, but still don't like McCain/Palin. And then another customer comes along and I stop being interesting to them in favor of money.

Anyway. GO VOTE if you haven't already.

Halfway There (with classes at least)

8 weeks down. 7 until I see my family. 12 total until I go home. 4.5 weeks until visiting Scotland. 4 days until I see Will and MK in Germany. 2 more Linguistics classes. No more Geography classes. 1 more paper for Literature, due in 4 days. 1 oral defense of said paper. 17 more classes of Emilia Romagna art history. 2 other classes to start and finish. 7 weeks of class left. 5 oral exams. 8 weeks down. 12 to go...

I'm grateful that I knew beforehand that I wouldn't want to stay for the year, because I can deal with less-than-two seasons of Italy, but not almost-four. This place has done weird things to my work ethic as it is, I think (although I really shouldn't be blaming Italy for that, that's something I should control). Either way, I'm glad to be here in a handful of ways but know that I will also be sooooo glad to be home when this is over. In the meantime, I just want to be a bum and travel around Europe learning about history and art first hand instead of going to class and listening to boring lectures. But then I might fail, and my parents would freak (as would I, my self-respect, my gpa and my bank account), so I'm not going to do that. But I can dream of that freedom. :)

Halloween Day itself was rather uneventful, as nothing really happens here for it, beyond the rare decoration in a store window and some drunken Americans in the night. However, Lizzie brought me into the Xenia kitchen for several wonderful hours of feeling like I was actually able to hang around with my friends and talk and laugh, even if I had no control over my location and my vision was somewhat fuzzy and I couldn't actually taste the yummy-looking homecooked food that Roger pretended to feed me and then ate himself (ie: I was looking through a camera eyeball and sitting in a laptop). But that's totally ok, because it was more than worth it. Thanks guys, I needed that. Thus, the first few hours of Ognissanti (All Saints Day) were passed happily and in quite some amusement at the antics of a party across the great ocean. Last night was another moment of relief, as Leah and I went out for cappellacci di zucca al ragu' (excellent local specialty of pumpkin ravioli with light meat sauce) and hung out for a while afterwards.

I didn't end up going to Padova this weekend, since I figured it was more worthwhile to try and get some work done for my final literature paper. I had hoped to be able to sit down and crank out the paper this weekend, but that didn't happen. Being at a loss for a topic, I instead spent many hours going back through the short stories and poems we read as a review. I think I have some more cohesive, although probably not very original, ideas at this point, but that will have to do. As long as I can write it out tomorrow, I should be fine with editing it and getting a chance to prepare for the oral, pack for Germany, and watch the election news with baited breath in time to head to Venice Thursday afternoon with the knowledge of having finished a class completely and, most importantly, of who our next President will be. Oh, I am so hoping for good news November 4th/5th.

Then I just need to figure out how I'm getting to Scotland and Sicily. But first come my paper and a visit to Mainz. (So excited for next weekend!) Oh man. Half way done with classes. I can do this. Right?

Because there are times when staying up till 4am is worth it...

And a Trans-Atlantic Halloween party with good friends is one of them.

The Bubble Bear outside La Terra dell'Orso (an entertaining toyshop where I got some shiny marbles the other day!) There are two bubble-blowing bears in the neighborhood, this one and another around the corner for a semi-trendy/semi-crunchy-granola store nearby. The bubbles from the two of them often fill the intersection, if the wind is blowing just so. It's right near the supermercato I usually go to, and I pass through that neighborhood most days.

The bubbles make my inner child smile every time.

Third Post in Less than 24 Hours... Maybe I need a life away from the computer.

This post is mainly for myself. If you want something more interesting to read and actually care to do so, go down to my previous two posts, the more recent about how I've been doing, and the second most recent about school and problems with Italian culture.
-Also, does anyone know how to do an equivalent of LJcuts for blogspot? Because that would be useful in moments like this.

Here's the book I finished reading yesterday, which I mentioned at the end of my last post. "The Rise and Fall of Alexandria: The Birthplace of the Western World". If you like history, this is an easy and fun read about the great minds of old Alex- I would recommend it.

Photo of 10.29.08

(top image- I can't get these captions to line up right with the pictures, sorry about that): The Night Bridge. I know I've taken pictures of the castle's arches over the moat before, but I like the curves and the reflections. It's too bad my camera doesn't get better resolution at night, but it's a decent camera anyway, so I'm more than happy with it. As you might be able to tell from the massive number of photos I take in general... :) 10.30.08

Unfortunately, plane tickets around Christmas time are ridiculous for going from Europe to the States at the beginning and viceversa at the end of the holiday period, meaning that I can't go home during the break, which is something of a disappointment. On the upside, tickets with the opposite directions (US coming to Europe) are quite reasonably low, so my family (parents and brother Alex) will be visiting me! I am so excited. Also, it will give me a much sooner time to count down until (in comparison with the beginning of February). In the meantime though, there is one week until I see Will and MK in Mainz, and just over a month until Leah and I go to Scotland to visit MK in Edinburgh. These breaks and visits will be a great way to encourage me to get through my classes. Joy for seeing friends and family.

LIST MAKING (for myself mainly and because why not)

Things to do in Ferrara or nearby (I reeeally need to get on this stuff, which means I'm not allowed to complain that there's nothing to do here until I actually do all this).
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[]-make it all the way around the Wall

[x]-the Balloon Festival

[x]-Massari Park

[x]-explore the medieval neighborhoods, old ghetto and historic center

[x]-explore some of the renaissance neighborhoods

[x]-actually go into and explore the castle, not just the courtyards

[x]-look around inside the Duomo

[x]-Grounds of Palazzo di Marfisa D'Este

[]-House of Palazzo di Marfisa D'Este

[x]-Palazzo Schifanoia

[]-Archeological Museum

[]-Casa Romei

[]-go to Pomposa

[]-reach the Po River

[]-learn some traditional Italian recipes from Gardenia.

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Places to visit outside Ferrara but in Italy (most of these I don't have full lists yet, and will have to update them with better plans at some point).

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Venice

[x]-St. Mark's Cathedral

[x]-St. Mark's Piazza

[x]- The Rialto

[]-The Ducal Palace and historical museum

[]-The museum in the Jewish neighborhood

[] -Explore some "normal people" 's neighborhoods

[x]-Ride a vaporetto

[]-Ride a gondola

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Florence

[x]-The Duomo, including Tower and Dome (if possible, climb again)

[x]-The Ponte Vecchio

[x]-Various Medici Palaces and Chapels

[x]-Santa Croce

[]-The Accademia

[]-The Uffizi

[]-See Michaelangelo's David.

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Siena

[x]-Duomo

[x]-Pinacoteca

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Verona

[x]-Casa di Giulietta

[x]-Roman Theater

[x]-Piazza Bra'

[x]-Giardini Giusti.

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Comacchio

[x]-see the Po Delta and the fishermen

[x]-visit beaches

[x]-touch the Adriatic (the water was too gross to go swimming)

[x]-visit their version of the Boardwalk.

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Sacile

[x]-visit Gina (intend to do again) and see around Sacile

[x]-visit Dolomites

[x]-visit the airbase where Gina works

[]-go skiing with Gina

[]-go skiing in the Alps or Dolomites somewhere awesome.

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Bergamo

[]-meet the cousins.

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Padova

[x]-Scrovegni/Giotto Chapel

[x]-Basilica di San Antonio

[x]-Prato delle Valle

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Ravenna

[]-Mausoleum of Galla Placidia

[]-Basilica of San Vitale

[]-as many of the other major sites of masterwork mosaics I can get to while there.

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Trieste Area

[]-visit Remy Franklin at the UWC and maybe travel around in the area with him.

----------------------------

Bologna

?

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Rome

...soooo many things to see (plus meeting with Rikako if she's still in the country). Will make list another time.

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Sicily

[]-go to Leonforte. Meet the family again.

[]-go to Taormina and see the Greek Theater, the Roman Baths, and the Mazzaro Bay

[]-maybe go to Siracusa, because it's supposed to be really cool

[]-get to the top of Mount Etna (the volcano)

[]-go to Palermo, visit the Cappella Palatina, figure out a few other things to see there

[]-not run into any problems with the Mafia or the regular dangers of being in Sicily... oh please Lord.

[]-maybe stay in a convent and see how the nuns live, since all of Sicily's small handful of hostels should apparently be closed by then.

--------------------------------------------

Beyond visiting Will and MK, there are a few other places in Europe that, time and money allowing, I'd like to go (like Prague and Vienna, for example). But since those are so variable and less likely, I will not make lists of them now. Being here is for primarily learning about Italy rather than all of Europe, and since I'm considering these short trips to be a valuable part of my education here, I've decided they're worth the time and money - with reason, that is. Farther trips to elsewhere in Europe are going to be harder than I anticipated, but oh well. Ok, so it's good to see all these goals laid out like this - between all these and homework and applications for things to do next summer (for both of which I have additional lists), I am officially not allowed to comment that I have nothing to do. Nope nope nope. So I should go and be productive now. Or at least pretend to be. Night!

Long and Introspective Thoughts

Warning: if you just want to read about Italy/ don't care about/ aren't comfortable with reading my rambles about how I've been doing beyond traveling and classes, then don't continue. Just saying.

One is a Solitary Number

Like just a number of others I know from home who are studying abroad, I have found my time to be spent primarily alone (this applies less to those to whom I’ve talked who are in Japan who have gone with a significant group of previously-known friendly faces). This seems somewhat antithetical to the study abroad experience, as the point is to learn about another culture and, often, another language. But if you don’t have a host family who intentionally bring you into their lives, and are instead just having to go about daily life routines and classes and schoolwork by yourself, then, that is how you are – by yourself. Schedules don’t line up so easily with others around as they do at college, between farflung living locations, class times, different phases of life, different expectations for interactions, etc. etc. etc. It is of course possible to make time to interact, but much harder to run into people or to arrange those intentional meetings. This is at least my experience and somewhat shared by others with whom I’ve talked about this. I’m just glad that I do intentionally make time to hang out with or talk to others (like Leah! and when our schedules line up, Gardenia or Aurora), because otherwise I might go crazy.

Having to take care of myself and spend so much time by myself has allowed me to learn –how- to take care of myself and be alone, two things which I previously was not very good at at all. This summer, I realized that for the previous 5 years, I had had either a significant other or a very good friend with whom I had long conversations at least several times a week, and in some periods of time, every day, multiple times a day. I could call them or run to their room/house or talk online most anytime I really needed to do so, and so got used to being able to rely on someone else to help me figure things out. And those 5 years, being part of highschool and the first half of college, involved a lot of figuring things out and growing up. But there are some things that a person needs to do by themselves, and this summer I realized that a number of those things I simply hadn’t done well enough by myself to understand myself as well, or be as strong a person as I could be at this point in life, having often relied on someone else for part of my strength.

And as some of you know, I have a tendency to be, uh, well, clingy, affectionate to those I care about, and sometimes quite dependent on those around me. So, finding myself unexpectedly single and unable to talk to people as often as I wanted because of language school put me in a crash course for learning how to be more independent and dealing with high-stress situations. I perhaps permanently lost some friends in the process, but got to better know myself, how people –can- work, and some of my other friends. I am so grateful that Alison, Will, Lizzie-Hannah, Toby, Andrew and Leah were on campus, for when I could make it out of Arabic School to see them, that my small handful of Arabic School friends were helpful, and that my parents were very supportive as usual. (And other friends I got to talk to on rare occasions.) I had to be way more independent than before, but at least they made me a safety-net, and helped me through being hurt and confused sufficiently that I could actually not only make it through Arabic school well, but could deal with coming here to Italy. And I did make it through that, and am probably a stronger person for it, even if it frankly felt like hell at the time.

I learned how to open up to friends and have good conversations with them without having to rely on them as much. I know I feel healthiest with close friends and my family and good conversations on a regular basis – the drastic way in which such things can better my mood here has proved that without a doubt. But now I –can- spend long periods of time by myself. I can better deal with stressors on my own, and sit down and think about what’s going on, what I can do to fix the problem, and how to (at least often) have the patience to let time do its thing. This doesn’t always work, and I don’t know if it ever will completely. But it’s a start, and this is a good thing.

It probably also helps that, as frustrating as being in Italy and dealing with all that that entails can sometimes be, there are in general fewer things to really worry about here. Not having daily homework assignments has its problems, which I mentioned in my last post, but it also allows me to do thinking about some more long-term situations or “the bigger picture”, as I don’t have as many time-immediate things to think about. Not having a whole lot of a social life here, although sometimes really lonely in a negative way, does indeed greatly reduce the opportunity for social drama, or for having to regularly deal with people whom I’d rather not have to see all the time. Sometimes it drives me crazy and makes me long for my family or for my second family of friends and for the sense of community I found so well in Middlebury. But sometimes I’m glad for the chance to have a quiet day and just do my own thing like think or wander or write a blog entry, or for the knowledge that on my own I can manage with the practical bits of life (so far) and deal with the more abstract emotional issues that any 20 year old college student post-dramatic-summer might have or think about thinking and how to deal with such issues. That’s a pretty good feeling, when I can get it through my head that I have that self-control. It comes and goes all the time, but this is one of the better moments, so I figured it was a good time to write it out, in case I need a reminder later on. I am Emmons and I can do this!

Turn, Turn, Turn!

I’m a fan of the kinetic sculpture philosophy, even if I can’t always stick to it. This is something that my mommy told me years ago, and has stuck with me ever since, and which I know I’ve mentioned to a handful of you. We have a large collection of mobiles/kinetic sculpture (sculpture that moves, for anyone who doesn’t know) in our home in Mountain Lakes. Some are little and sit on tables. Some are medium-sized and hang from the ceiling. And some are several tons and in our yard and make our house known as the one with the big colorful moving things in the yard (which made giving directions as a kid to my house pretty easy, ha). One of my family’s favorite artists is Alexander Calder, the inventor of mobiles. So I grew up surrounded by and very aware of these things; they are distinctly a part of my life, and so it was easy to integrate a philosophy with mobiles as the symbol into my point of view. This summer and being here has ingrained it waay more thoroughly for me than it was before though. (Indeed, the gallery in the Middlebury Museum this summer with a Calder and some really interestingly engineered kinetic pieces was a regular refuge of mine. The fact that it had a window seat and was a peaceful place to do homework also helped. :) )

This philosophy has to do with the fact that everything changes. (We’re not going into a discussion on an everlasting God/Mystery/Karma/platonic essences, etc. existing or not at this point; I’m referring to parts of life in the more earthly sense.) Life is constantly changing. And when things are going badly, they will change and get better again, so have hope; you can make it through it, even if it takes a while. And when things are going well, something bad will eventually happen, so you better appreciate what good things you have while they last. It’s simple, and easier said than done, but it’s a nice little piece of positive thinking that is also rather practical. It’s amazing what it can do when you just focus on these three simple points. And since mobiles are always moving, they make a good metaphor for the constantly changing nature of the world, and an often comforting one – besides being sheerly awesome to watch and and having interesting engineering. :) One could also think of the song “Turn, Turn, Turn!” and the associated Bible passages for a similar viewpoint, come to think of it.

The Italian “boh!” point of view (first explained here: http://elisabetta-in-italia.blogspot.com/2008/09/city-of-silence.html) is similar to this, except it seems now to be more on the apathetic side of things, rather than mainly being patient and optimistic, which dissatisifies me. But given that the Italians often have this attitude from what I can tell (I don’t have much social life, but I’ve had enough conversations/people watching to get this quite strong impression), and therefore don’t bother to fix the difficulties and disorder of their world, the way to survive here is to adopt a similar point of view. Visiting Italy for short periods of time might not give one a full appreciation of this, but living here certainly does. When I can keep it in mind, the kinetic philosophy does just fine by me. That doesn’t mean not standing up for things you believe in if necessary or trying to change the things you have control over; that’s a lesson I got from my parents and from Palladino that I doubt I’ll forget. But rather just trying to not getting upset about all the little things that could be potentially upsetting.

There are some of those longer-term things I wrestle with on a regular basis, and which sometimes pull apart my resolve and optimism and make me really wish I could change things I can’t. But in general, time is doing its thing and trends are in a positive direction, quite thankfully.

Books!

Ferrara in particular isn’t so bad. I just don’t feel connected to the city or to the Italians very deeply at all (I am so not an Italian. An Italian-American, yes. An American, definitely. But not an Italian, and ain’t that good.) One of the things I like the most about Ferrara is that it is good for leaving and for returning to – it has easy access to a number of places I want to visit, and is quiet enough that it is reassuring to come back to after a busy journey. But it is a kind of odd city, as I’ve mentioned before, and although it is small and sometimes quaint and interesting, it is afterall a city – an environment which has never been my comfort zone. I am still enjoying wandering around when I get the chance, although I need to remember to bring my camera with me more often.

I also just finished reading one of the two English books I brought with me for refuge-reading. It’s about the classical history of the Egyptian city of Alexandria, and focuses on the dozens of intriguing leaders, philosophers, scientists, generally brilliant thinkers, and the rise and fall of this intellectual capital of the ancient world. I thought it was well written and a fun excursion into history. Yes, it stops before the development of the strong Arab culture there now, but I don’t think that detracts from the entertainment and thought-provoking nature of reading about the original character of the city of Alexander the Great. It’s also been a nice way to get away from Italian when I, say, get really tired of too many “ciao’s” and not being able to catch the nuances of most of what I read in Italian. Rereading Harry Potter 7 for the first time, and in Italian (I Doni della Morte), has been quite fun, too. Unlike last summer (after freshman year and only one year of Italian) when I read the first book and several hundred pages of the 5th in Italian rather slowly, it actually goes pretty quickly, allows me to pick up on idioms and speech habits relatively easily. I can get the jokes! I can pause to think about the more unusual turns of speech and rejoice when I get them! The storyline is easy to follow! The translations of magical terms are amusing! These are all good things, and don’t even mention the nostalgic comfort of the Harry Potter stories. So, I say yay for all of that. Oh pleasure reading, how I’ve missed you so at Middlebury. I like doing scholarly research, but popular history and important-to-kid-hood fiction can just be so refreshing.

So, yeah. These last two posts were pretty big updates on my life in general at this point, and if you made it down this far in the reading, then good for you and thanks for your patience with my rambling! (I think the rambling has been strongly tied to the whole not talking to people much part of being here, for better or worse.) Later on, I will put up my Project365 pictures from yesterday and today. In recap, sometimes things are pretty tough being here, but I try to see that all as being part of the learning experience, and am (for now) doing decently in general and sometimes even doing surprisingly well. Sometimes.

Well, I send you all good vibes, hugs, and to the relevant few of you, some tentacle waves. Until next time.

- Emmons